Many, Many Thanks

Joachim Arend was an independent and disciplined man.  He did almost everything on his own, in many ways he was withdrawn.  He worked day and night way beyond the age people usually retire at.  Yet even in his life there were those that he relied on, that he would consider friends, that he felt indebted to. 

It is strange, one does not seem to discuss with ones elders who they felt indebted to, at least we did not with our father and husband.  Therefore we only know from observing, and this can only be from more recent years.  Whoever we may have overlooked for this reason, may say have been peers or benefactors of his school, war, university or early business years in Germany, we beg for forgiveness for our ignorance and say THANK YOU.

The first person we are aware of that we remember our dad to feel immense gratitude for, a gratitude he talked about with a shaky voice as long as the writer of these lines can remember and that is about 50 years ago, was God.  He knew that God protected him and his family during the Second World War and its aftermath in which so many, many men on both sides died fighting and so many women, children, elderly and other civilans died through bombs or while being driven from their home land.  Dad knew that he was not more worthy of God's protection than so many others who were not spared and that this life was only the prelude to a better life but he was grateful from the bottom of his heart that God found it appropriate to protect him in answer to his prayers when God found it necessary to allow bad things to happen to others, that God surely loved as dearly.  But it was not only regarding the protection during that time that Dad felt indebted to God for, it was for so many things in his life that went right.  Consequently when things did not work to his advantage, like one tremendous blow of fate in business that he never really recovered from or when his patience was tested through getting weak and becoming dependent, he never wavered in his gratitude towards God, quite the contrary he still expressed his gratitude towards God, now not just with a shaky voice but with tears in his eyes.  So we do want to say THANK YOU to God for all the good he has done for our father and for all the bad he has kept from him!

There are only a few people that Dad walked with through decades of his life, many of these have died years ago.  Although it is too late for us to thank them we do want to do it here in remembrance of them.  The earliest benefactor of Dad that we remember personally, was Dr. Fickel who worked for the House of Schwarzenberg.  Dr. Fickel was kind of Dad's mentor although he had business dealings with him.  Later when these dealings stopped because Dad left the forest product business, Dr. Fickel and our father remained in contact until Dr. Fickel passed away.

Gustav Ulmer was another man that Dad enjoyed doing business with and for whom he had great personal respect, especially for his decency and loyalty.  Gus Ulmer was the man that Dad built his business in Canada with and on until Mr. Ulmer too died.

Max Kellermann was another one of those whose character Dad would not question and he would come to with even the most difficult problems and would feel well taken care of.

Thank you to these three men who have gone before him for the services of friendship provided to our Dad.  You may have died but our gratitude lives on for what you have been to our father.

Stanley I. Shier like Mr. Kellermann is a lawyer he could not find any fault with and that is a sign of distinction.  It is more than 40 years than Mr. Shier has done everything for our family in a manner that always matched or exceeded our father's expectations and the measuring stick my father used was high.  Thank you very much, and we hope we can continue to count on your support.

Peter Held is a member of another profession that my Dad for whatever reasons just did not trust.  However not only did Peter Held provided services to him for decades, our father considered him a friend and as far as he was concerned, an exception.  Thank you for giving our dad the comfort of your services and your friendship.

Hans Hobler was a young man when Dad started in real estate in Germany.  But that was 50 years ago.  Our father and he were close enough that they still corresponded by mail almost 40 years after our father had left Germany.  Thank you for your loyalty and for all that you have been to our father.

The last two groups of three men were strong business minded people that had a relationship in which both sides benefited more or less equally.  As my Dad became weaker and weaker, he became dependant on members of a third group of people, three of which we are greatly indebted to.

Zilda Louro has spoiled our family in her quiet and unpretentious ways, efficiently and lovingly for about half a decade. While working with our mother she felt with our father and took his needs into consideration at every moment and treated him with utmost respect and kindness.  Thank you, so much.

Helena Gant succeeded were many others had failed. She did not consider it a job to wash and shave my Dad, she was aware of his sensitivity caused by many months of lying most of the day and of desperation because of lack of improvement.  She treated him with utmost consideration and gentleness bending over backwards to accomodate his wishes.  She had what is most important in a nursing professional, a heart.  Thank you, may your family be reunited soon.

The last person to be mentioned in this section is Nicole Meixner, a woman who has a business degree, has always worked in administration, but has bedside manners like no other that we have seen in action.  Nicole Meixner helped our family to care of Dad in his home and in hospital in the last few weeks of his life. These were hard weeks for any caregiver.  Dad accepted Nicole Meixner from the beginning and had after only a few days complete trust in her, something others don't achieve in decades.  Thank you!

Since these pages were written in the name of the closest family members, that is the wife and children, we naturally do not thank the members of this most inner circle.  However Kreszentia Arend is a granddaughter.  She has been such a loving caregiver for her grandfather during a trip to Mexico last year that Dad could not await the time until she would return in January to again take care of him.  Kreszentia had in other cases helped family members like her other grandparents in the Allgäu spontaneously and for extended time periods.  We appreciate this flexibility and dedication greatly.

Kreszentia's sister Veronica and her mother Ute also made a significant contribution by making it possible for her father / husband to be intensively involved in the caring of his father.  This meant i.a. to be stuck with clearing the snow by hand that is normally removed by tractor from the farm drive-ways - there was a lot of snow in Cails Mills this winter, 3 m (10 ft) in six weeks.  Many thanks!

Finally, we as Dad's care-giving family members would like to thank all those who made it possible for us to help or by supporting Dad and us through prayers, comforting words or small acts of kindness.  Thank you.

And as did in the beginning, we want to turn to God, to thank him for having sent these and other wonderful people our dad's way.  THANK YOU!